I have never been the yelling type or even "mean" but I feel like I am now. I don't know what went wrong. Maybe the third child did me in? I'm not sure. I'm not a bad mom. I am a very good one and everyone knows that but I still can't help but feel like a mean mommy when I accidentally snap at one of the three. The whining and crying had been OOC lately and it frustrates me, just like it does everyone else. I am learning to deal with it in a different way but sometimes I just lose my cool and will snap back at them or mock them. Which in every single case never works. And I know that but what makes us moms go off the edge sometimes? I hate hearing my mean voice. I hate hearing the words I never said I would and most of all I hate looking myself in the mirror after handling a situation by wanting to scream instead of just sitting down and talking it out.
Patience is truly a virtue. It is something we all have to learn and sometimes most people don't learn how to be patient until we are middle aged. I am a patient person but when the whining starts and doesn't stop makes me impatient. But I have found a way to deal with it the way I want to and need to as a mom:
- Close your eyes.
- Count to 10.
- Take three deep breaths.
- Sit with your children and simply ask "whats wrong?"
- If they still cry simply say "I can't understand you when you are crying. Can you talk to me like a big girl/boy?"
- If they still cry or whine I finally say "OK, you know we aren't suppose to cry or whine in our house. Do we need to put our whines and cries into a bucket?" I tried this today and it actually worked.
- Finally, after they've told you what was wrong then fix the problem. We are the parents so we CAN fix it.
- Reward them for behaving like a big kid.
- Reward yourself for not wanting to run and lock yourself in the bathroom.
Having three babies under 2.5 means I deal with a lot of this. They have all started the fun fighting stage (NOT) too and its hard. But as a parent we can't run away from all of this like we want to sometimes or most times. Just breathe and count to 10 because in the end it was all be alright and they'll do something amazing to you or to their sibling that will make you immediately forget why you were so angry with them.
Mean mommy be gone. You're not welcome here. I am not that person and I know a lot of you can relate. I wanted to post this to remind myself to just breathe and count to 10.